


Can't Help Falling in Love

by KathyBoug



Category: the GazettE
Genre: AU, Death, Doctors, Highschool AU, Hospitals, I suppose, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Quite depressing, Romance, Sad, Sappy, This Is Sad, Unrequited Love, Use of Real Names, af, i ggggguesss, i guess, idk anymore, jussaying, no sexy sex in here sorry, reita is a sucker but so am i, the only reason its rated teen is for the character death btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 11:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15169973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathyBoug/pseuds/KathyBoug
Summary: Akira knows what he is feeling isn't a simple crush. He knows this is possibly his soulmate. He also knows he's not worthy of this wonderful being.





	Can't Help Falling in Love

**Author's Note:**

> What is this............................................ idk its a mess and idc either

The bell rang finally. He felt his heart beating so loudly against his chest he was afraid it would jump out; he didn’t see why was he still getting this way. It’s been months, yet every time they texted, or worse, actually saw each other, he felt like a girl about to lose her virginity. It was irrational; they were attending the same school after all.

 

He ran his hand over his black hair and almost launched himself out of his seat when they were finally dismissed, running down the hallway, his dark-brown eyes searching everywhere just for him. Once he finally spotted the familiar brunet head, he smiled, feeling peaceful for a moment before he ran up to him.

 

“Ru!” he called out after him, grinning widely. Takanori never wanted to be called by his actual name. He didn’t get it, but Ruki was a cute nickname.

 

“Akira” the other said softly, smiling back. It wasn’t the same kind of adoration that Akira’s smile expressed, but that was okay. Besides, his smile was gorgeous either way.

 

“Do you… would you like to come over today? We can just watch a movie or play games” he suggested, hoping and begging inside his head. He’d give anything for a minute just sitting near him, talking about life or nothing at all. The subject wasn’t important. _He_ was what was important.

 

“ _Oh,_ Aki...” the tone killed all of the raven’s hopes in an instant. “I would love to, but I need to study. I’m sorry. I have an upcoming test so--”

 

“Are you crazy? Stop apologizing” he laughed, cutting him off. He didn’t allow himself to be disappointed. The other’s exam was far more important. “It’s okay. Just… whenever you’re free let me know okay? It’s been a while since we last met outside of school” he said softly, his expressive eyes filled with love. He didn’t want to be selfish. He didn’t want the shorter one to feel guilty or bad over anything at all.

 

“Alright, I’ll do that. Take care, okay? I heard your exams are coming up so good luck!” the excitement and genuine interest in his exams made Akira sigh, the smile never leaving his face. He wasn’t very interested in those exams, to be honest. But he wanted to impress his friend, he wanted to be worthy of him.

 

He was about to respond but the other was already leaving. The smile slowly left his face, feeling the same kind of frantic heartbeat; but this was from the pain. It hurt. It hurt to keep it in. It hurt to see him go just like that. He looked down and walked to the bus station, in order to get home.

 

 _‘Make sure to eat properly, okay?’_ he couldn’t resist, and already texted Ruki. He did worry after all. But any excuse to speak with him, he’d take.

 

After a few minutes he huffed and put his phone back in his pocket, guessing he wouldn’t have an immediate reply. So he just plugged his earphones in and put on some relaxing music, looking outside the window for the next of the ride.

 

*********

 

The sound of a new message on his phone got him out of his crying state. He wiped off his cheeks with the back of his sleeve and sniffed, grabbing his phone quickly. His eyes skimmed over the text, a smile finding its way back across his lips. He held the device against his chest, his heartbeat calming down once more.

 

He simply felt frustrated. Ruki deserved all the love in the world, he deserved someone to protect him and stand up for him. Especially because of his situation with his family and his childhood, he needed someone to show him how loved he was. But Akira wasn’t good with words. He couldn’t convey his feeling correctly, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. He wasn’t that much afraid of rejection as he was of things becoming awkward between them. He didn’t want to just say exactly how he felt for the shorty, only for them to be unable to talk like before.

 

It wasn’t really important for him to get with Taka. He was dying to just express himself, his love for the boy, to show him how loved he was and how worthy he was of so much more. This was the only reason he wanted to confess. But he would never risk making things awkward. Never risk losing the opportunity to just say ‘hi’ to him. He wouldn’t be able to survive that.

 

 _‘I’m sorry I didn’t respond all day. I really need to do well on that test’_. Akira smiled. Yes, anything he could take from him, he appreciated it.

 

*********

 

“The sky is beautiful” came a small murmur, barely audible. Akira looked down, at the boy sitting in front of him. His eyes moved back up towards the blue sky and he hummed.

 

“It’s so weird. It’s the exact same colour everywhere. The sea’s colour varies depending on the country or area. The sky is always the same. It’s bizarre.” he mused, feeling stupid the second the words left his mouth. Of course it was the same. Of course it was bizarre. The space is bizarre.

 

“Silly” was the only response, whispered. However, the faint smile that accompanied the word was obvious and it made him hum again. “Doesn’t it make everything seem meaningless? In the end we’re all under the same blue sky. Humans are petty beings”.

 

Akira thought that was a harsh statement, but it was true. Taka always seemed smart and raw to him, and he couldn’t help but love him for it. He felt so lucky to know him. He could never just stargaze and talk like this with anyone else; no one appreciated the universe in the same way. Everyone was always caught up in insignificant, compared to the space’s greatness, problems.

 

Finance. Which political party won the elections. War. That was what was important. No one else could see they were all insignificant, since they were always the same, always controlled by powerful people. People were constantly stuck in such a small space of their mind.

 

“They are” he agreed in the end, not seeing a fault in that statement after all. Maybe, just maybe he would have disagreed, had his parents been different. Had they listened to him being excited about the stars, about the world’s magic. Had Takanori’s parents been different.

 

*********

 

Maybe drinking hadn’t been a good idea. Maybe drinking with Ruki, while they were all alone in his house, was an even worse idea. He felt the alcohol taking over and it was a really really bad thing. Because the more he watched him laugh, the more he felt his chest tighten, his eyes watering up, his brain not functioning properly from the amount of love he felt.

 

And the more he watched him laugh, the more he ridiculed himself in order for that laugh to go on. He wasn’t sure if his pride would make it through this night.

 

“Ru” he called out, wiping his eyes hastily. The tears were a product of the immeasurable amount of feelings he had at that moment. Happiness, love, sadness, desperation, hopelessness. Was he even worthy of that being right there? Each time he saw him, texted him, thought of him; he felt worthless. He felt so much less than **he** was.

 

“Hm?” came the gentle response, a faint blush tainting Takanori’s cheeks. He was slightly drunk too, if the uncontrollable laughter at Akira’s lame jokes hadn’t given that away.

 

“I love you so much” he said with no breath, biting his lip. He didn’t feel drunk anymore.

 

“Mm, I love you too, you little goofball” laughter. It wasn’t really taken seriously. Did it matter?

 

Maybe it was for the best.

 

*********

 

When Akira arrived outside the ER, his heart was pounding. He was sobbing now, not trying to hide his tears, even if everyone could see him.

 

“Is he okay?!” he asked, panicked, the first nurse he saw. The woman ignored him, rushing into the room. He didn’t know what to do. He felt lost. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He had no one to talk about this with, no one to comfort him, no one to distract him. Takanori was always the person that did all that.

 

“He seems to be stabilizing but we can’t be sure. He’ll be getting out of the ER soon, but we don’t know if he can make it yet, so please be prepared for the worst” the doctor’s words weren’t comforting. Not at all. “Are you his family?”

 

“Yeah, I’m his brother” he lied, he knew that if he said he wasn’t family he would have to leave. And Takanori’ s parents didn’t care as much as he did. They weren’t even there.

 

The moment he saw his friend’s bed being moved towards a room, he hurriedly followed, watching as he was hooked to a cardiograph and other machinery, used to keep him alive.

 

“Why did you have to get into that car?” he wondered, now wiping frantically at his face. He didn’t want the other to see him like this when he woke up.

 

And it took him hours, but he did. He woke up.

 

“Aki?” he sounded confused, and weak. It broke his heart.

 

“ _Taka--_ Taka, oh my God” he broke down yet again, taking deep breaths. He woke up. That was good, wasn’t it? “You scared me, you-- I thought I lost you. _I thought--_ ”

 

 _“Akira”_ a smile. Not even scolded that he didn’t call him by his nickname. He didn’t like that. “I’m not afraid of dying”

 

The raven clenched his fists. “But I am” was he selfish? He didn’t know what to do without him. It wasn’t fair. Why, why did he get into that _stupid_ car?

 

“It’s okay. You’re stro--” he was cut off mid-sentence, because he had a coughing fit. Akira looked panicked, but it soon went away. It was clear he couldn’t breathe well. Aside of his brain that took damage, he had a few fractured ribs, and his lungs got hurt too. “You’re strong” he finally said, taking a deep breathe.

 

“Taka, I--” the machine started beeping frantically as the brunet started spasming on the bed, and before Akira had the chance to yell for the doctors, it started making a monotonous, lifeless sound. Tears wouldn’t leave his eyes as the doctors rushed in to do CPR, to attempt to bring him back with electric shock. Nothing worked.

 

His chance to tell him he loved him was gone forever.

 

**Author's Note:**

> haha well now that I got this out of my system, maybe I'll try to focus on one of the multi-chapters, haha :)))))))))))))  
> idk if the moral of the story is 'never leave smth for later' or 'drive safely'


End file.
